My Darkness

A soul of light, being cloaked in the darkness of its own conjuring. People around me always seem happy. High strung, as if the worries of the world affect no cellular portion of them. Carelessly living life, but carefully soaking in happiness as if sun bathing in the Caribbean. Maybe my life experiences have taken their toll on storage of happiness. As if theres a hole in the bucket. Leaking out as I carefully scavenge for the bits and pieces of happiness. But most of my time is dealing with my own darkness. I’ve befriended it as if it’s my true and only lover in life. We seem to never get tired of each other. Nowadays though darkness is telling me to give up. That this cruel world isn’t your’s to live in. That a simple act of selfishness can take it all away. The worries, the constant retching feeling of worthlessness. Our lives are aligned with the fate of God. Maybe thats the only thing keeping me going. For now, Ill sit here and sulk with my lover. My darkness. Hoping someday it’ll leave me because I was unfaithful. But faith is all I’ve ever had.

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